Recently, I’ve had to have a rethink and reshuffle of some of my goals. I’ve been thinking a lot about some of Sean’s previous posts, where he’s talked about goal prioritisation and that the key to success is to be truly honest with yourself. So I’ve been honest with myself, and now I’m going to be honest with you…
Firstly: I’m not thin. Secondly: I’m not fully recovered from my eating disorder.
Two shocking revelations right there, I’m sure you’re thinking! In all seriousness though, just because you have an eating disorder doesn’t mean that you are thin. Sure, when I was severely anorexic this was evident to all, but when suffering from bulimia my weight remained stable and even increased.
The first step to recovering from bulimia is cutting out the methods of purging. I managed this fairly easily. What I didn’t manage as easily, was to stop the binges themselves. And if you cut out the purges, but leave the binges, unfortunately a lot of weight is gained. This was really difficult for me, as my worst fear was being realised. It’s taken me a good few years, and a lot of counselling, to learn to eat properly again, and to treat my body with some respect.
I’m now at a stage where I would like to sensibly and sustainably lose the couple of stone that I gained when suffering from bingeing. If you’ve read some of my earlier posts you’ll know that I’m also training for my second marathon and my first ultra event this year. That’s a lot to focus on at once, and whilst I like a challenge as much as the next person (probably more than the next person actually!) , my attempts at weight loss combined with 18 mile runs did not really do my recovery any favours: they reignited the starve-binge cycle that my body had been so familiar with before.
I have therefore decided that instead of running the Manchester Marathon at the beginning of April, I am going to defer and run the Chester Marathon at the beginning of October, and I’ll be running the Hadrians Wall ultra as planned at the end of June. I hate giving up on goals. Hate hate hate it. But I have reached a place where I realise that I need to spend a good few more months focussing on losing weight in a slow and healthy way, before I am ready to commit fully to marathon training. I want to be as strong and as well fuelled as I can for the marathon, as I’m fully intending to absolutely smash the arse off my previous time!!
So my point is, actually listen to the advice of those smarter than you. There are so many times we read posts and articles, in this example by Sean, and think that’s great advice, but how often do we actually put this advice into practice? Next time, don’t just read and nod along; try thinking how you can apply the new knowledge into your training, or even your life.