This post is inspired by something I read from Stephen Aish this week. If you don’t follow him – you should.
I learned an important lesson as a parent this week. My partner had gone out for the afternoon and my son and I had decided that we would go into town as I wanted to get a haircut and he wanted to have a look in a couple of shops (Game and Apple – every single time we need to go into town).
There was also an agreement that if the local burger restaurant (HubBox – one of the best in the country) was doing a takeaway offer that we would have it for lunch. So off we stroll into town – along the way I am messaging a friend about sorting out a team building session for my sons football team (I will come back to this later). He goes and looks in the shops, I get my haircut and all is well…
Until we get to the burger restaurant. The takeaway deal is only on Monday – Friday. I explain it is too expensive for us (as the price would more than double to eat from the normal menu) and we would have to find somewhere else to eat. Now I am not a mean dad – we eat there often enough but I am not made of money. Understandably my son is a little upset – I try to make suggestions of other places to go and he is having none of it.
This escalated until we were so cross with each other we marched home in silence and had something to eat (individually) at home. The rest of the afternoon passed until we eventually spoke to each other and talked the whole thing through.
What a waste of an afternoon. What the hell was I thinking? I am a bloody adult and yet I would rather act like a child to simply prove a point and actually with hindsight I could not even tell you what that point was.
We can waste a huge amount of time feeling angry. Who benefits from it? Is it you? Does feeling angry make you feel better in any way? Not really – might make for a good gym session (unusually not for me – I end up distracted). It is a feeling worth investigating. You have to question yourself to try to understand why you feel the way you do at that moment. There is a likelihood you will face the same situation again in the future – do you want it to make you angry again? Just repeating the cycle? Learn to adapt – for me I can find laughing at situations helps to let go. Or remembering that the other person involved hasn’t made it their purpose that day to make me angry (for example a cold caller who is simply doing a job to put food on the table).
I guess Frozen said it best – “Let it Go” (typed that around 5 times to try to make it read like the song – I gave up!)
My son and I sat down and had a chat. We have made a promise to each other that if we ever feel cross or angry with each other we will sit and talk it through – so simple. If we had done just that our nice afternoon together would have continued.
As we were talking though he said something else that added to him feeling a little upset with me. He said that I was on my phone for the whole walk into town (around a 30 minute walk). My initial response was to tell him that what I was doing (messaging) was for him and his team. Actually looking at the message times they were only for a short period. Initially I felt he was exaggerating but then I stopped and thought about it from his point of view – seeing it through the eyes of a 12 year old. He was out spending time with his dad and his dad was on his bloody smartphone. Doesn’t matter what I was doing it was eating into the time I was spending with him. His perception was that I was on it for a long time – the opposite of mine. His view of time is different to mine. In my opinion he was right. Going back to an earlier blog – time is precious. Every moment counts and you decide continually on what you make that moment count for. Quality time with my son will win for me every time.
This was a short, sharp lesson and led to promise number 2. When I am with him I will only get my phone out if it is strictly necessary.
OK – I guess strictly that was 2 lessons!
Don’t get too excited – this is more of a tip. Make sure you are on their mailing list as you often get invites to try out new burgers for reduced rates, BOGOF or even for free! Sign up here.
Everyone likes SuperDry don’t they? If you haven’t seen it before checkout the eBay store for fantastic discounts and even limited run samples. Can be great value for money as savings often surpass anything you will get in store.
Ever present MuscleFood are here again. Weekly deals change today so keep an eye to see if anything takes your fancy. At the moment they have Muscle Mousse Butterscotch flavour in the clearance section for only £10. A very tasty way to boost your protein intake for the day!